Words.
What is in a word?
A lot.
We give words power over us. We give them the power to define us. We give them power to hurt us. We give them power to control us. We give them the power to shape our lives.
Words also can give us many things. They give us structure, they give us comfort. They give us a place in the world.
Words can trip me up. Some words elicit a Pavlovian type of response in me: an instant knee jerk reaction acting as a trigger of sorts. Sometimes my pavlovian response is positive. The words Love and Child, always give me a warm ‘fuzzy feeling’ and bring a smile to my face. The words Vacation and Summer have me ready to pack a bag, grab my passport, and head to the airport. The words Family instantly brings a series of mental snapshots of my spouse, children, sibling, parents and grandparents.
As an Unitarian Universalist (UU), several ‘church’ or religion related words and phrases, such as sin, righteous, repent… used to instantly trip me up. When I heard one of those trigger words, my mind locked down, my ears stopped listening. My mind froze and refused to move forward. I wouldn’t process the speaker’s message past that point. I tuned out.
I got irritated at myself. Why did these words illicit such reactions? As a UU I am supposed to be respectful and ‘tuning out’ is hardly that. Just because I have an irrational response to a word, why am I throwing away the rest of the message? Can’t I learn something from religions or beliefs that aren’t mine? I was giving my ‘trigger’ words way to much power over me.
I decided to take the words back and make them my own. I started by listing words that bothered me. Using a dictionary and thesaurus, I looked up each of my ‘trigger’ words. Here is what I found:
Amen – so be it. Expressing strong agreement.
(Okay, I can’t bicker with that.)
Sin – a transgression of theological principles. An action that offends a moral or ethical principle. Knowingly doing wrong.
( I have lapses in following the Seven Principles of my UU faith. I occasionally do things I know is wrong.)
Righteous – always behaving according to a religious or moral code. Justifiable. Responding to injustice. Honorable, respectable, decent.
(I try to live my life honorably. I try to respond to injustice. I respect people who live by a strong personal moral and ethical code.)
Repent – be sorry; change ways or future actions, regret, be sorry, ask forgiveness, apologize.
(Throughout my life, I have often found myself sorry, asking someone for forgiveness and vowing to change my ways.)
I took the words back. I re-defined them for myself. I took away the power that I had allowed them to have over my thought process. Now when I hear the words in a religious setting, I re-translate them to myself. My mind stays open. My ears stay tuned in. I can now process the speaker’s message, personalize it and make it relevant to me.
Hallelujah! (Used to express relief, welcome or gratitude.)
Just a thought from the pew.